Understanding Anxiety: When Worry Starts Running the Show
By Kyla C. Kaufman, MEd, LPC, NCC, EMDR Trained
Everyone worries. Anxiety becomes a problem when worry stays loud long after the danger has passed, and starts deciding what you do, where you go, and how you sleep.
How anxiety shows up
Anxiety lives in the body as much as the mind: a racing heart, tight chest, upset stomach, restless sleep, or feeling on edge. In thoughts, it often sounds like "what if" on repeat.
In children and teens it can look different — stomachaches before school, irritability, avoiding activities they used to enjoy, or needing a lot of reassurance.
Why avoidance keeps it going
Avoiding what scares us brings quick relief, so the brain learns to avoid again. Over time the list of hard things grows. Gently and gradually approaching feared situations teaches the nervous system they can be handled.
Small steps you can try today
Slow your breathing so the exhale is longer than the inhale. Name five things you can see and four you can hear to come back to the present. Write a worry down and ask: what evidence do I have, and what would I tell a friend?
These skills help, but they are not a substitute for care when anxiety is affecting school, work, or relationships.
How therapy helps
In counseling, we use CBT to notice and shift anxious thinking patterns, build coping skills, and practice facing fears at a pace that feels manageable. When anxiety is tied to past painful experiences, EMDR may also be part of the plan.